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Building Boundaries: Protecting Your Peace Without Guilt
Rock Bottom Rising: Volume 7
Christopher Paul
February 9th, 2025 • Estimated Reading Time: 12 minutes
Rock Bottom Rising
A Warm Welcome to Our Growing Community!
Hi, I’m Chris! Welcome to the Rock Bottom Rising community. I’m genuinely grateful to have you here. My goal is to share my journey, along with the stories, tools, and resources that have made a difference in my life, to help you navigate your own challenges. Together, we’ll find strength, support, and hope to rise above life’s toughest moments.
Why Speaking Up About Mental Health Matters
For weeks, I worked on this newsletter privately, intentionally choosing not to promote or share it. Part of me needed to prove to myself that I could stay committed. After six consecutive weeks, I finally took the hesitant step of putting it out into the world. There’s a unique vulnerability in sharing something personal, knowing it invites judgment. The fear of criticism—or the inevitable ‘haters’—can be intimidating.
When I hit rock bottom, I withdrew from social media, opting for privacy over exposure. I didn’t want to compare myself to others or feel the sting of jealousy watching people thrive while I struggled just to stay afloat.
Now, as I begin to rebuild, I can’t help but think about how many others are suffering in silence—people who put on a brave face just to get through the day, to keep their jobs, to fit in.
That’s why I want to keep speaking up about mental health. By sharing my journey, I hope to create space for others to share theirs—to help normalize and destigmatize conversations about mental and emotional well-being. Because mental health is health, and no one should feel ashamed to talk about it.
Table of Contents
Building Boundaries: Protecting Your Peace Without Guilt
One of the hardest parts of leaving a toxic relationship—whether it’s a friendship or something more intimate—is that even when you recognize you're being mistreated, you may still deeply care about the person causing the harm. Even if the bad outweighs the good, you can’t help but see the good. You focus on it, cling to it, and try to downplay the rest. After all, there was a reason this person became part of your life in the first place. You’ve shared experiences, built memories, and created a history together, no matter how short or long. The fear of losing them—or the fear of being alone—can make it easy to tolerate what you know you don’t deserve.
Over the years, many people have played a role in different seasons of my life. Some were protagonists, others antagonists, but no matter their part, there’s always a sense of loss when they leave the storyline. It feels like watching a beloved character in a TV show—someone whose presence you’ve grown attached to, whose arc you hoped to see develop, whose bond with you you thought would deepen over time. And then, suddenly, they’re written off.
I cherish every relationship I’ve built throughout my life, but as an empath, I naturally absorb the energy around me. When that energy becomes overwhelmingly negative, I’ve learned that it’s essential to set boundaries—to protect my peace, my well-being, and my sanity.
How to Set Boundaries and Protect Your Peace
If you struggle with setting boundaries, you’re not alone. Many of us feel guilty for prioritizing ourselves, especially when we care deeply about others. But boundaries are not about shutting people out—they’re about preserving your energy so you can show up as your best self. Here are some steps to help you build stronger boundaries in your life:
1. Identify What Drains You
Pay attention to how certain people and situations make you feel. Do you leave conversations feeling exhausted, anxious, or unappreciated? Recognizing the emotional toll certain interactions take is the first step in knowing where to set limits.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Prioritize You
You are not responsible for managing other people’s emotions at the expense of your own well-being. Let go of the guilt that comes with putting yourself first. Healthy relationships respect and support mutual boundaries.
3. Communicate Clearly and Firmly
Setting boundaries doesn’t require an explanation or apology. You don’t have to justify your need for space. A simple, direct statement like, “I need some time to focus on myself right now,” or “I’m not comfortable with that,” is enough.
4. Limit Access to Your Energy
Not everyone deserves full access to your time and emotional space. If certain relationships are causing harm, consider reducing contact, muting notifications, or even blocking when necessary. Distance can be an act of self-care.
5. Prepare for Pushback
People who benefited from your lack of boundaries may resist when you start enforcing them. Stay firm. Their reaction is a reflection of them, not you. Over time, the right people will respect and support your limits.
6. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Build connections with those who respect your boundaries and uplift you. The more you normalize healthy relationships, the easier it becomes to let go of toxic ones.
7. Remind Yourself That Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect
You deserve peace. You deserve relationships that nourish you, not drain you. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
Final Thoughts
Protecting your peace doesn’t mean you don’t care about others—it means you care about yourself, too. You are allowed to walk away from anything that disrupts your well-being. You are allowed to choose yourself. And most importantly, you don’t need permission to do so.
Take the time to reflect on where you need stronger boundaries in your life. Your peace is worth protecting.
What's your story?
Share your experience by emailing [email protected].
Your story can inspire others and remind them they're not alone.
Resource Spotlight: Mental Health Resources
The CDC's "Mental Health Resources" page offers a comprehensive guide to immediate support and ongoing mental health care. Key features include:
Immediate Support: Access to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, providing free, confidential assistance 24/7 via call or text.
Specialized Resources: Tailored support for veterans, active-duty military, and new mothers, ensuring specific needs are addressed.
Disaster Support: The Disaster Distress Helpline offers crisis counseling for those affected by natural or human-caused disasters.
Finding Care: Guidance on locating mental health service providers, including directories for psychiatrists and psychologists.
Additional Support: Information on accessing basic needs like housing and food, recognizing their importance in overall well-being.
This resource empowers individuals to take proactive steps in managing their mental health and offers avenues for immediate assistance when needed.
Community Spotlight: Finding Strength in Connection
Image courtesy of the Mental Health Foundation UK
Meet Libby, a 22-year-old carer from Wakefield who has dedicated the past four years to supporting people in her community. Having experienced loneliness herself, she understands firsthand the emotional toll it can take—both in her own life and in the lives of those she cares for.
Libby’s journey with mental health began in 2017 after she was caught up in the Manchester bombings. Therapy helped her heal, but when the pandemic hit, isolation brought back feelings of fear and loneliness. “Everyone kept to themselves—it’s what we had to do. But it was tough, and I felt really excluded,” she shares.
As a companionship carer, Libby saw how quickly isolation affected people. “Even those who had never struggled with mental health before became depressed. Some felt like they weren’t supposed to be here anymore,” she says. While she did her best to support others through welfare calls and visits, she often felt helpless—unable to do more.
Through it all, Libby learned the power of small connections. “Even a short chat or doing a jigsaw together can make a big difference,” she says. Keeping her own friendships strong and focusing on helping others gave her a sense of purpose and, in turn, helped her cope.
Her advice to anyone feeling lonely? Take a moment. Take a deep breath. Make a call. “Talking to someone—even for a few minutes—can change everything. And remember, this feeling won’t last forever. Step outside, feel the sunshine on your face, and know that brighter days are ahead.”
Libby’s story is a reminder that human connection is essential. Even the smallest gestures can bring comfort, hope, and healing.
Weekly Inspiration: The Power of Walking Away and Self-Talk
Sometimes, the hardest—but healthiest—decision is to walk away. Whether it’s a toxic relationship, a draining job, or a one-sided friendship, staying can often hurt more than leaving. It takes strength to recognize when something no longer serves you and even more courage to let it go.
One wise reminder? “Don’t argue with fools—because from a distance, people can’t tell who is who.” Not every battle is worth fighting. Protecting your peace is more important than proving a point.
Another mantra to live by: “The only thing I can’t do is stick my elbow in my ear.” This childhood lesson, passed down from a wise mom, is a great reminder that most things are possible if we just try. When faced with fear, doubt, or uncertainty, self-talk can be a game-changer. Repeating affirmations, focusing on what’s within your control, and silencing negative thoughts can help bring clarity and confidence.
So, the next time you feel stuck, remind yourself: You’re capable. You’re resilient. And sometimes, the best choice is simply to walk away.
Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.
Our Mission
To create a supportive community that provides hope, resources, and guidance for individuals recovering from life's lowest points, helping them rebuild and rediscover their strength through shared experiences and practical support.
Together We Rise
Millions of people—of all ages and backgrounds, from all over the world—have experienced, are experiencing, or will experience hitting rock bottom at some point in their lives.
What does it mean to hit rock bottom? While some call it a midlife crisis, each person's experience is unique. It might be an overwhelming battle with depression or other mental health challenges. It might be severe financial hardship. It might be a marriage or relationship crumbling beyond repair. It might be an addiction that feels impossible to overcome. It may be the insurmountable grief from an unexpected loss. Often, it's a combination of these struggles.
Crisis Resources
USA
In an emergency, dial 911 from your phone immediately.
 988 offers 24/7 judgment-free support for mental health, substance use, and more. Text, call, or chat 988. |
International
Next Week
Here’s what’s coming in next week’s newsletter.
The Power of Gratitude: How It Can Transform Your Outlook
Mental Break
I feel your pain, my millennial brethren. Adulting is hard.
@chilioband Friend: how are things? Me: good Also Me: #imanadult #adulting #fyp #quarterlifecrisis #imjustakid #simpleplan #elderemo #adulthood #mille... See more
Last Word
Thank you for sticking with me until the end—I genuinely appreciate it. I hope something I shared today resonated with you or offered value. If you have feedback, suggestions, a story to share, or an idea for contributing to this community, I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to reach out anytime at [email protected].
Your support means everything and helps this community thrive and grow. If you know someone who might benefit from this content, please pass it along! They can subscribe here: rockbottomrising.com/subscribe.
Together, we rise. 💛
-CP
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